On Tuesday July 12th I was on America’s Got Talent. This is the video from my experience. Fast Forward to 1:35 to get to the good stuff.

Clearly I was robbed and Howard Stern should be ashamed of himself for keeping me out of Las Vegas. I will get my revenge and prove to the world that the Air Sex Championships is a legit sport. I am not mad at Sharon Osbourne, she is a weird Canadian with shitty taste. Howie Mandel was nice to me. Howard Stern screwed me.

E! Online wrote this post that was pretty informative but it did NOT mention how I got screwed out of a chance to win America’s Got Talent. This article is all about the MONSTER NIGHT AT THE RATINGS for the show…hmmm, a coincidence? I got screwed. These people hate me and these people hate me too. I hate being screwed. The Austinist was nice to me as was Uproxx. It weakens the sting but the bottom line is I was robbed.

If any major media markets want to talk to me about this debacle I am available for interviews but please, only major media markets.

I will keep this page updated with new information on my mission to get another chance with Howard Stern (who screwed me). Please make this your homepage to stay updated or follow me on Twitter.

P.S. this Summer we are going on an East Coast Tour to the following cities:

If you want to come out and offer me some condolences then find venue information here.

One Response to “Everything You Need to Know About Air Sex on America’s Got Talent Mainly About How I Got Screwed Out of a Chance to Win the Whole Damn Thing”

  • Julia:

    Dude, you’re gross. HS wasn’t offended at air sex, but at you doing it. No one wants to see someone who looks like you simulating anything. Clean yourself up, lose the ass-ugly beard and lose some weight; maybe you will actually get some instead of just acting it out.

Leave a Reply

Merch
This album is for sale in the Store. This album is for sale on iTunes and on Studio8. My Austin comedy theater has shirts! Buy those here!
Upcoming Shows and Appearances
Air Sex Championships
The New Movement
The New Movement runs shows, classes and festivals in Austin, Houston and New Orleans. TNMcomedy.com! We're your place for Austin Improv Classes and shows and New Orleans Improv Classes and shows! Houston too!